I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
