get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We named our party play list daddy issues
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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