Pregnant stripper...not hot.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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