Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
