I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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