This girl is more easily done than said...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
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