Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
