have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
