i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
