your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
