theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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