My liver just broke up with me...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm at about main and main street
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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