ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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