she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize