My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize