it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
