That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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