and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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