the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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