Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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