he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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