I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
That's how pantless uber rides happen
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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