i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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