Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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