You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize