it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
