I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
