Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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