Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
