I'm so fucking centered right now
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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