my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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