its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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