real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
wow bdsm is so cute
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
