I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
