The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
