You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
