he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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