jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
