Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Four minutes until I can fart!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
