Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
