She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
