Non-Jews are for practice
I am spending my child support on dildos
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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