alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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