you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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