If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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