Screwed.edu
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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