we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i now understand why vodka
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
