I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
