Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
