i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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