my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
