apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
