Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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