I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
