so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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