Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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