I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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