Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
