i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
