um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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