He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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