I'll bet she douches with gravy.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
