Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
