therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
