I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize