i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
