dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
