is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
