The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
