is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
